Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Spanish Mission hitting the line in the 2022 Tancred

So it's April Fool's Day, pinch and a punch for the first day of the month, although I personally don't care about April Fools, because I behave like an April Fool 365 days of the year....

366 in Leap Years.

So now that we're in April, it's time for the first day of the Championships on some kind of a Heavy 29 at Randwick, with the highlights being the popular Country Championships Final, plus the four Group 1s of the Inglis Sires for the juveniles, the Australian Derby, formerly the AJC Derby, the TJ Smith Stakes, featuring Shelby Sixtysix getting to belt Nature Strip again, and the Doncaster Mile, the second most-famous mile in the world...

Behind Eminem's 8 Mile.

Then you've got the other less important meetings of the day, like the Group 2 Karrakatta Plate at Ascot, which was somehow a Group 1 race between 1985 and 1998, something called a Manihi Classic at Morphetville, and the Bendigo Golden Mile meeting out in the Victorian Goldfields, where 4 degrees Celsius is considered tanning weather.

So it's on to Crazy Craig, and he was very confident last Saturday with his lone pick Duais on Tancred Stakes Day, before Rosehill was flooded by God in revenge for the Mardi Gras, but he was retrospectively proven absolutely correct on Monday at Newcastle when Duais came from last on the turn to win the Tancred Stakes with a leg in the air..

Now, do it again you scratchie-donating character, to the sounds of Cliff Richard's Lucky Lips!

Click here to listen to an audio clip.

Value Pick: Benaud (No.15, Barrier 19) in the Group 1 Australian Derby at Randwick (SR7), 3:55pm AEDT

2400m 3YO SW Group 1 Bentley Australian Derby

Trainer: John O'Shea, Jockey: Brenton Avdulla, 56.5kg

Hello hello everyone, it's Craaaaazy Craig TBFB, back from another week of giving out scratchies to those who look down on their luck, and I just wanted to say a few things about last week....

I WAS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ABOUT THE TANCRED.

THINK IT OVER - COULDN'T RUN A GOOD 2400M!

AND SPANISH MISSION.... HEART AS BIG AS A PEA ON A WET TRACK!

Anyway, to me that's ancient history now, and we're on to this Saturday, where we've got big race after big race, and after a lack of consideration, I've settled on the former AJC Derby, a race in which I nearly willed Young Werther to victory last year, and this year I've decided to settle on the same formula, as we go for a cream-wearing grey I picked a few weeks back with absolutely no joy....

Benaud!

If you ask me knackers, the only shame is that he hasn't got saddlecloth 22, and he isn't starting from barrier 22!

Still, he may have the next worst thing, because he's drawn Barrier 19 with the emergencies included, but if you ask me, the barrier is bullcrap, because based on Richie's racing pattern in recent races, I can guesstimate that John O'Shea would've told Brenton Avdulla to go back anyway!

Case in point was the rerun Tulloch Stakes at Newcastle on Monday, when he was ridden so conservatively you would've thought Joh Bjelke-Petersen was the jockey, as he was some 20 lengths off the leaders on the turn, but the ghostly grey out of Baggy Green swamped the line to run 4th (2.3L off Character) in a very nice tune-up for the big one, and we all know the Tulloch has proven a reliable form line for the Derby in recent years!

Obviously there's some good horses in the field, like Hitotsu going for the first VRC-Australian Derby double since Mahogany in 1993-94, Regal Lion in Murray Baker's last Autumn raid on Australia, Tulloch Stakes winner Character, who was probably named after me, and Forgot You, who name is appropriate, because I'd forgotten he existed!

That said, some lunatic called Crazy Colin once told me that you should never be afraid to chase value in a big race, and I think the quick back up might just help Benaud run another big race and hopefully finish in the Top 3, because he's my PICK OF THE DAY.

Pick of the Day: Cardigan Queen (No.10, Barrier 11) in Race 7 at Bendigo (MR7), 4:15pm AEDT

1400m Listed Bendigo Guineas

Trainer: Ciaron Maher & David Eustace, Jockey: Harry Coffey, 57kg

Well, what did you expect (From the UK Telegraph)

Moving on, my best of the day isn't on that muddy wet 'carp' hole called Woyal Wandwick, it's at Bloody Bendigo in the Guineas, where I've gone for the brutally unlucky favourite Cardigan Queen!

Yes, I say brutally unlucky because she's finished runner-up in her last 2 starts, first of all in the Vanity at Flemington in February, when she got back further than intended, and ultimately charged home to run 2nd to Barb Raider by 3/4 of a length, then she ran again on Australia Cup Day at Flemington, and this time she was locked in a coffin between the 500m to the 250m, got out and absolutely rocketed home to run 2nd by a bee's dick to Fortunate Kiss!

Now, here's the thing - The form out of both of those races is nothing short of outstanding, because Barb Raider went on to win the Group 2 Kewney, then she ran 2nd in the Group 2 Sunline Stakes, and on the same Friday night at The Valley, Fortunate Kiss ran a gallant 4th in the Group 3 Alexandra Stakes!

So that's the form covered, now it seems the main question is how is she going to go from the wide barrier, because there's a few horses who are also going to be going back, but I say who gives a rat's tossbag, because she was going to get back anyway, there's plenty of room at Bendigo, the so-called Nursery of Champions, and if she's any good to begin with, SHE'LL BE RUNNING A DAMN GOOD RACE, don't you worry about that!

As for the others, well, they've probably got hearts as big as peas!

So there you go - Cardigan Queen, my PICK OF THE DAY.

Random Darryl Kerrigan Pick: How's The Serenity (No.2, Barrier 9) in Race 6 at Ascot (PR6), 3:35pm AWST

1000m 66+ Rating Handicap

Trainer: Simon Miller, Jockey: Holly Watson (a2), 59.5kg

"If there's thing dad loved more than serenity, it was a 2-stroke engine on full-throttle."

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I'm Crazy Craig, and that's why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!