PTSD: WE ARE THE UNBREAKABLE By Sonia Lenardon

The Rising Phoenix Review

Jan 14

PTSD: WE ARE THE UNBREAKABLE

we are the broken
and the unbreakable
we are everything

we are
dislocated shoulders and
disorienting nightmares
and where am I?
nottherenottherenottherecan'tbewon'tbethereagain
and safesafesafe

what even is safe
is it a place
a name
an identity
a state of being
a faraway thought
a foreign concept

is it just to be free from harm
deliver us
deliver me
just let me go

what even is freedom?
is it to wake up
with cool skin
and soft hair
and clothes that don't cling
to sweat-bathed flesh
is it the absence of battlefields
in the night

is it to wake up and just know—
where you are
who you are
what you are

you are
safesafesafe

we are the broken
and the unbreakable
amidst words spoken in
flashback language

words of—
she buckles like a wild calf
and
hush now
and
stop now
and
it'll only be fifteen minutes

and
the dark calms kids down,
so into the dark you go
(only fifteen minutes at a time—
an eternity of breaths
echoing in the blackness)

words of—
I'm mad now
and
I'm disappointed now
and
say that again
and
do that again
and
and I will hit you so hard
(blows also calm kids down
did you know?
I never learned)

and sounds that go—
BANGBANG
goes the gun that
shot my baby down
and yet I still love the thunder
and what does that even make me,
that I can love a storm still?

amidst the words
and the sounds
(and is that me,
biting down in the dark
so they won't hear?
is that my teeth
grinding like the Gnasher of myth?
is that my jaw
clenching like Fenrir's?
my very own Ragnarok
yet I have learned
early enough
not to be afraid of the Apocalypse)
and amidst all that
we do not break

kintsugi
there is not enough gold
in the world
to fill my cracks
but I was never looking to shine anyway
still

we do not break
yet
never
still
what else, really?
what else can you do
to us
that will break us?
what else can you do
to me
that hasn't been done?

we are the broken
and the unbreakable
and isn't that a miracle

aren't we a miracle

Click here to listen to an audio clip.

By Sonia Lenardon

Biography:

Biography:

Sonia Lenardon is an Italian-born spiritually-Canadian (it's a long story) writer and poet. She uses writing as a survival skill and as a tool to send out hope and love and laughter into the world. She writes about nature and love stories between humans and the planet, and about trauma and resilience (and isn't the latter a form of love as well?). You can find her on Instagram, but mostly you can find her wandering forests and thinking about the beauty of grizzly bears.