Shayla Lawson on Living Free in a Dangerous World

Rachel León

February 7

I think Shayla Lawson is a literary genius, so their new book, How to Live Free in a Dangerous World, was among my top most anticipated 2024 titles. Shayla is not only whip-smart—agonizingly careful with each word and comma, so every sentence they write packs a punch—but they're also masterful at making connections. They see beyond the surface to permeate deeper meanings, and package it all in work that hits the right tone—an alchemy of criticism and sentimentality, in the best sense of the word—so each essay is pitch perfect. And Shayla carries such genuine kindness, not only in their work, but in how they move through the world.

I had the good fortune of studying with them through the StoryBoard program at StoryStudio Chicago. To say the experience was life-changing for me as a writer isn't hyperbole—one week with Shayla forever changed how I approach the page and taught me to scrutinize each punctuation choice, questioning my tendency to rely on the em dash. (I would've used a second one in that last sentence, if not for my workshop experience with Shayla.)

How to Live Free in a Dangerous World: a Decolonial Memoir resists easy categorization. It's part travelogue and part essay collection, using both their personal experiences and cultural criticism to explore setting and emotion in these turbulent times. Shayla is a globetrotter and each essay is tied to a specific place they've visited: from Mexico to Zimbabwe, France to Egypt, Jamaica to Tokyo. Whether Shayla is sharing their experiences living in the Netherlands with their white ex-husband, or examining human trafficking and how it's talked about through a historical look at the Shanghai Tunnels, the underlying thread in each essay is liberation. There's an almost mystical quality to the book, the way it travels the globe, distilling wisdom on every topic it tackles, including race, privilege, gender, death, God, bodies, and sex. In a world that tends toward divisiveness, Shayla's meditations on love, time, and the self close this gap, reminding us of our shared humanity. So while they make clear how dangerous this world we're living in truly is (in case there was any doubt), I still finished the book feeling buoyant and inspired—which is a remarkable achievement.

I had the pleasure of talking to Shayla about this important book via Google Docs.

Rachel León

You mention it took nine years (!) to find a publisher, which is maddening because this book is brilliant and beautiful and urgent and necessary. So first, thank you for not giving up on getting this book into the world. But also, do you mind talking about that? If not the actual journey, at least how you stayed determined?

Shayla Lawson

What kept me motivated is people. Those who I refer to in the book as us "zeros": the ones of us who've been miscalculated, misunderstood, and misrepresented by the system. The fact that, once you're used to being written off by dominant media, your global impact grows into this incandescent bubble of possibility. American culture wouldn't have you believe that, but I know it to be true. As an author, I've been singing songs my own way for decades. And since I've never been deemed trustworthy or necessary enough to significantly penetrate the mainstream, it's easier for me to travel through the world as a covert infidel. And that's given me a wondrous amount of optimism. People who've taken to journeying for those reasons (on the inside or otherwise) know how much life opens itself up when you've got nothing to lose, because that keeps you curious. I never stopped trying to tell these stories because I never stopped living my life. The nine years waiting on publishing to catch up were a blessing. They just gave me greater wisdom, more time to travel the world, more experiences to share. There are so many stories I wanted to write about that we didn't have room for; I'd do a sequel in a heartbeat.

Rachel León

Ooh, I'd love to read a sequel! I think that blend of wisdom and optimism is one of the most striking things about your work. This book examines your experiences living in this racist, ableist, homophobic, transphobic, and misogynistic world, and it does so in a way that feels very, well, wise. How much distance do you need from an experience to be able to examine and contextualize it?

Shayla Lawson

This book ranges in experience from being at Prince's first Minneapolis concert while in the womb to last year, when I was figuring out the best sex toys to use as a crippled person living in Los Angeles. There's a lot of range and a lot of years covered. In terms of distance, the longer I write the more interested I've become in processing personal experiences in the moment because I've found a place within me where it facilitates healing. Those that involve more complex webs—work, divorce, family—I give them more time to digest out of respect. For the same reason, some stories will always be off-limits. But given where I'm willing to be vulnerable in this book, not much.

Rachel León

Let's talk about vulnerability. It's another thing I admire about your work—about all good creative nonfiction, really—that commitment to being vulnerable on the page. Your work has always embraced it, but this book in particular feels especially vulnerable… I'm wondering how that ties into what you said about the gift of time.

Shayla Lawson

Absolutely. Writing is listening and listening has helped me grow so much in understanding. For instance, while I was in the midst of writing this book and coming to grips with making drastic changes to my life due to a chronic illness, a friend said to me "disability is just a matter of time." It made me think, "with time, we all become time travelers." For some people that process just happens faster than others. Once I had that line, I was transported to the time I spent in Frida Kahlo's house just outside Mexico City, where I learned with greater depth that the visceral nature of her work came from her relationship with her body and identity, something I understood deeply at the time I was writing How To Live Free but missed at first glance. Time gives us the opportunity to both travel through experiences and contextualize them. With time, we come to realize that vulnerability is a common experience. Much like in Frida's paintings, in this book, I've chosen not to hide that.

Rachel León

Your friend's quote reminds me of something one of mine said, which I can't remember exactly, but we were talking about ableism and he noted how someone able-bodied could become disabled at any time, that disability is the only part of our identity that can change suddenly without much warning. Our bodies are fragile—anyone could get in an accident or receive a life-changing diagnosis. The chapter "On Sex" deals with disability and has so much profound insight, such as: "Both sickness and sex demand that we look at our bodies as the site of spiritual and political warfare." Do you mind talking about this?

Shayla Lawson

I'm glad you liked that quote. I like that one too. It was especially significant to me to be writing this book at a time after the COVID pandemic. It's what I witnessed, it's my survival guide. These essays are allegories for how we survive the traumatic realization that capitalism and hatred is killing us. In light of this, sex and illness are revolutionary states because they force us to reexamine the value we place on the freedom of our bodies. The last few years have been a vulnerable battle ground of the body for the whole world. The way we are living is killing us. In How To Live Free, I use my own battle with illness as an allegory for all of ours. And it was nice in "On Sex" to pay homage to the bravery of the erotic. In life's battles, it's easy to let the world make us deeply insecure about our own pleasure. It was nice to be able to model that conversation on a disabled body that's also a sexy one. Also a sexual one. Because, as we fight for our right to health—mental, physical, spiritual—in this disabling system, enjoyment is the most revolutionary thing we can have.

Rachel León

What you said makes me want to talk about the book's title, which centers not only surviving as a person who is not always safe in this world because of their identity, but thriving. The title has a somewhat self-help vibe, though the book doesn't read that way. And the label as a decolonial memoir is fitting. I know from workshopping with you how much care you put into titles. What went into this one?

Shayla Lawson

That's right, if you've ever had me for workshop, "name your babies!" But this title was a really beautiful synergistic moment I didn't expect. I was coming through the worst of my post-pandemic haze of mental and physical illness. Having tapped into reserves of fortitude I didn't know I had, I was sitting with one of my oldest, dearest friends—loving, drinking tea, laughing—and I said how I love living free in a dangerous world. It felt like the title. So I ran it past my editors and they came back with How To…. and I had to sit with that for a minute. It felt auspicious. Could I really live up to a self-help title? But I have a phenomenal amount of trust in my team at Tiny Reparations. They're incomparable in the world of publishing. Their decision to lead with something incisive and bold showed the amount of faith they have in this book. So I said to myself, "Okay, it's on." Besides, I do know something about drumming up the freedom to survive then learning how to celebrate that. And I think we've all come to understand the importance of that in the midst of such dangerous times.

Rachel León

Not to keep quoting your book back to you, but there's another part I was hoping to discuss and I think it ties into much of what we talked about so might be a good note to end on. You write, "Intimacy is not about the fact we need each other. It's about facing the fact we are each other. The separations in how we feel are an illusion. The separations in who we are, are a myth. We are each other. And until we're willing to draw close to one another, art is a refuge for me because it helps me see all those places where we overlap."

Shayla Lawson

I couldn't have picked a better quote to sum up why this book is a "how to" survival guide. We're living in critical times. But we're the only thing stopping us from getting free.