Release Blitz, Excerpt & Giveaway:
F**k, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy
By Lance Lansdale
Murder Daddy, Book 1
SCOTTY
My boyfriend's been trying to kill me for weeks. Well, I guess he's my boyfriend. I mean, we've never officially been introduced, but he's always standing in the shadows, watching me. That has to be a good sign, right? The first time I saw him, he was hunched down in my bushes, aiming a rifle at my heart, and he's turned up with a new weapon every night since. As fun as our silly little game of Murder Daddy may be, I'm getting tired of having to steal my stalker-slash-boyfriend's affection by disarming him and using his weapons against him.
BRODY
I've got to get my head in the game. As my agency's top assassin, I've killed my fair share of men. When Senator Levinson placed his son on my hitlist, I figured it would be a one-and-done. I was wrong. Every time our paths cross, he winds up getting the upper hand. The things he makes me do once he's pried a gun or a knife out of my hand are downright depraved, and for some reason, I can't bring myself to stop it from happening. My wife tells me I need to just suck it up and get the job done. My wife's boyfriend says I'm sweet on the guy, which is absolutely ridiculous. Even if I wanted to take advantage of our open marriage, I'm not gay. This man—this Freakshow—is completely unhinged, and the worst part is, I think I might be just as crazy as him.
F**ck, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy is a high-heat, over-the-top, absolutely UNHINGED, dual-POV, dark romcom that is equal parts insta-love and insta-lust. While one character is married, their marriage is open, and there's no cheating between them.
Excerpt:
No matter where I go, he's there. Waiting. Observing. Others might call it stalking. I just think he's being adorable.
I'm not exactly sure when he started following me, but the first time I noticed him was three weeks ago. I was sitting on my apartment's balcony, wanting a bit of fresh air after a week of self-imposed seclusion. I couldn't have been out there longer than five minutes before the red dot appeared in the center of my chest. When I looked down over the railing, the apartment complex's floodlight lit him up just for me. He was hiding in the bushes, pointing a rifle at me. Our eyes locked, and we just stood there for a solid five minutes, neither of us making a move. It had been such a long time since anyone had looked at me like that. It was like a million little shockwaves coursing through my body.
My impending death aside, there had been a gentleness in the moment. A connection of sorts. I must have frightened him when I waved, because he stumbled, falling on his back and sending a bullet into the sky. I'm not sure why he ran off into the dead of night, but it gave me a delightful view of his ass. The thought of topping had never even crossed my mind, what with my small stature and constant desire to be coddled, but I don't know. I might make an exception for this guy.
The next time I spotted him, he was hiding under my car with wire cutters, fast at work. I thought he was trying to be a good Samaritan by changing my oil. Being a twinkish procrastinator, I know nothing of cars, and it had been over three years since I'd taken it to the mechanic. I mean, it's not that big of a deal. I just pour a little oil into the hole thingy, under the hood when it starts making rattling noises, and it's good as gold. Still, it was nice to have someone looking out for me. It's been a long time since anyone has. For his chivalry, I figured the least I could do was kiss his hand like a distressed damsel to his knight. I knelt down to thank him, but he startled, dropping the wire cutters. When I picked them up and tried to hand them back, his beautiful brown eyes practically bulged out of his head, and he scurried away like a cheeky scamp.
I'm pretty sure he's obsessed with me, but I think I've high-key wanted that all my life.
Enter the Giveaway:
To celebrate the release of F**k, Marry, Kill Me, Daddy, Lance is giving away a paperback and an eBook of the release!
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About the Author:
Lance Lansdale is the author of We Burn Beautiful and The Househusband's Guide to Domestic Bliss. He writes swoony romance with an excessive amount of cuddle scenes.
Connect with Lance:
lancelansdale.com
instagram.com/lancetastik
Facebook: Lance Lansdale
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