Motherland
by Barb Higgins
Genre: Memoir / Motherhood
ISBN: 9798891320246
Print Length: 274 pages
Publisher: Atmosphere Press
Reviewed by J.B. Leddington | Content warnings: Death of a child
Barb Higgins' Motherland explores the lead up to and aftermath of a devastating bereavement, pulling no punches and laying bare all the regrets and recriminations that accompany the death of a loved one. Deeply emotional and highly insightful, Higgins' recollections elucidate the feelings of sadness and hopelessness that characterize such a time, but importantly, they also reveal how a glimmer of hope can be lurking in even the darkest of corners.
While death typically comes as a short, sharp shock, in Motherland it begins with the not uncommon fracturing of a family. The honesty with which Higgins intends to tell her story is clear from the outset, as she explains how her former husband had racked up so much debt that she had to divorce him to preserve her savings and keep the family home. She's equally candid about the relationship she was in after the divorce: "I was in a relationship with Roy […] He was possessive and controlling and kept trying to pull me away from my children. Often, I let him."
Unsurprisingly, "Neither Molly nor her fifteen-year-old sister, Gracie, liked him." The happy family is gone and the adults in the situation are certainly not covering themselves in glory. Higgins' former husband "drank heavily, even though he was on dialysis, even though his kidneys were failing. If anyone was going to die, I told myself at that time, it was him," while Higgins herself "also drank too much. And I took recreational drugs. I kept poor company." A clear portrait of dysfunction is eloquently painted.
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