We're midway through July, which we all know is midway through 2024, and I have PROGRESS on the Apocalypse Project. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. We have actual words being written, folks.
To understand why this is a big deal, let's back up.
January 2021 - A recurring character keeps popping up in my idea journal. She doesn't have a name but her voice is distinct and her situation is unique. I like her.
April 2021 - I make detailed character notes to help myself commit to the project. I attempt to bring the ideas for this project into some kind of coherent outline. It turned into a GREAT idea, something that instantly caught fire and grabbed my attention. I was EXCITED about these characters and where this story could go. I knew how Ivy and Nolan's story started. I knew how it ended. The problem is, the outline dissolved from chapters to bullet points. There was something MISSING and I didn't yet know how to fix it. I couldn't see the way to get from point A to point Z.
May 2021 - I decide to push through the block and see if writing this thing gets me unstuck. I have this idea that the story needs to be in a BEFORE and AFTER sort of format so I draft it that way. I get just over 7000 words in and abandon the project. I'm following the outline as written but I can already feel my brain telling me I'm going to hit the same problem.
June 2021 - I like the content I've written enough that I don't want to abandon it. I start to wonder if the problem is the alternating timelines. I cut and paste what I have so far into chronological order, just in case. Nothing changes. I knew this story in the order it happened so I don't feel like I'm fixing the problem that way.
September 2021 - I try pushing the outline past the sticking point. I try keeping the story in a THEN vs NOW format (before the Apocalyptic event and after). I'm still sticking to Ivy and Nolan at this point but the story is sort of growing. I still get stuck. Something doesn't feel right. I still can't explain what that something is. I let my mind wander in regards to how we might have ended up in this situation. I write a LOT of brainstorming stuff.
January 2022 - The story just won't let go. More scenes pop up in the idea journal that I just KNOW are Ivy. She's not ready to abandon her story yet. She wants me to tell it. I take another look at the outline. I realize the brainstorming on the stuff I wrote in September was good stuff. I go back to the outline and add in those scenes. I try putting the original outline in chronological order. I realize there's another character I want to add in and I drop her into the outline as well. Something still isn't working. More is clicking now than it did before, but it's not adding up. I have 31 "chapters" of information for Ivy and only about 12 for Zoey. A title pops into my head. I LOVE it. I start a new draft document with that title. I cut and paste things I've already drafted into their new order. I like it, I'm vibing with it, but I can feel that the problems aren't flushed out yet. I open a new document and draft a few of the outlined chapters for Zoey. I feel even better, I can tell I'm getting closer.
February 2022 - I walk away from the project, turn my attention to other things. I hope that with a little time to simmer, things will pop into my brain. That happens sometimes.
April 2023 - When Ivy pops up in the idea journal again, I go back and look at what I have. I go old school. I print out the latest version of the outline and used colored markers to mark all kinds of things. I look for relationships and missing information. I look for places where I have questions. I write all over the document.
Somewhere around this time I even tried to connect with the story by creating a graphic, apparently. I have NO memory of creating this.
May 2023 - Inspiration strikes. New characters are fleshed out. More ideas are added to a third attempt at the outline. At this point I've decided chronological is best but these new characters may be the answer. It stalls again, literally drying up midway through a sentence. Something is STILL wrong.
July 2023 - New document literally titled "Freaking Outline, Take 4" is drafted. Again, my focus seems to be on these other characters. They were a good idea! Something tells me I'm SO CLOSE to figuring out what this problem is. WHY CAN'T THIS IDEA GET OFF THE GROUND?
August 2023 - I start yet ANOTHER new document. I decide I'll ONLY record things I love on this one. I keep the title I liked in January of 2022. I keep the new characters. I keep some of the chapters. It's the smallest document but proof to me that I can't let this one go. There's too much that I've fallen in love with. I think if this had been blank (or mostly blank) it would've been permission to abandon it. Instead, it's full of things I know I want to keep in the story. I just have to figure out HOW to tell it.
December 2023 - I sit down with my new notebook and make January plans. I decide to give the Apocalypse Project a page but make the choice to keep it practically blank. If I'm going to work this one, I have to start from square one. I have to let myself throw out the hang ups and just see what happens. Approach it as a new idea. I decide to walk away from it at the beginning of 2024 and come back to it with fresh eyes later.
You can see why this would be frustrating, I'm sure. Here I was, staring at a blank page time and time again that represented a project I couldn't figure out. Have I mentioned I'm an irrational perfectionist? This was KILLING me.
July 2024 is when things got interesting. I kept looking at that blank progress page in the little journal. In July I noticed something happened when I saw that page. I didn't get immediately frustrated or angry that it was still blank. I actually smiled at it. I felt that little tug.
It was time.
I went REALLY old school.
I grabbed a pack of 100 index cards and colored pens. I started writing out things I knew would happen to Ivy in one color, one scene per card. There are 34 of those cards, in case you're curious.
Then I wrote out things I knew would happen to Zoey in another color, again one per card. There's 14 of them.
Then I let Polly shine. Polly was a character I'd played around with previously only as a minor character. Then I had decided back in May of 2023 that Polly had potential to bring something refreshing and new to this idea. Since then she had only been featured in one scene of the idea journal, but I liked her. She has 12 cards.
Then I let Luke loose. Luke was a character that had previously been TINY. In May I had considered the idea of bringing him into the story but I didn't know if he would bring anything to the table or if he would just be a distraction. I had NEVER used him in the idea journal or connected with his voice. I had never tried to see wha the could bring to the project. In July, I decided to play around with it and see what happened. I have 13 cards for Luke.
Lastly, I put the 5 scenes I brainstormed way back in September of 2021 related to how we got into this situation on cards as well. They're probably my favorite cards even if I'm still not sure if I'll use them IN the project or if they're just my brainstorming.
This felt good but strange. I mean, I had a LOT of cards. I could easily get overwhelmed by those, it had happened before. Instead, I felt energized. I felt like I was close to something. I started putting the cards, across characters, into a sort of order. They were being mixed together but it felt natural and obvious. I wasn't hitting a wall. Not at all. I kept telling myself I would stop if it hit a wall. IT NEVER HAPPENED. All the cards fell in line.
Only then did I let myself go back to all the old documents (there are literally 21 of them) and look for scenes that I'd already written or brainstormed. I made notes on the cards telling me which document and page number had those scenes. No point in ignoring them if I've already brainstormed them, right?
I opened a brand new document, promising myself this would be the last one. Then, to prove that to myself, I even took the time to format it correctly. I set the margins, I picked fonts I liked, I made headings I wanted.
I started writing.
As of today, 13 days since formatting that document, I've already put almost 9000 words into that new document. I'm using the old ideas as reference, if possible, but I'm writing it all from scratch. I've connected with all four major characters and have found their voices. They've all become important to this story and it's only just begun.
As of this moment, I don't think the Apocalypse Project is stuck anymore. It's GOOD. I see how to get from Point A to Point Z and I love the journey!
Ladies and gentleman, we have an official work in progress again and I couldn't be more excited. Stay tuned for updates as I get through this one!
For fun, here's links to the blog posts that were previously about this difficult WIP.
Progress and issues, from May 2021 https://tabathashipleybooks.com/2021/05/26/apocalypse-project-issues/
One of the EARLY idea journal scenes from 2019 https://tabathashipleybooks.com/2019/07/08/apocalypse/
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