Your Wardrobe: Playing A Supporting Role

By Byron Tully on July 18, 2024

We've often discussed clothing as a part of the Old Money philosophy. It is the most visible part, but not the most important part.

The most important part is the adoption of Old Money Core Values, as I note in The Old Money Book.

However, as the most visible part, the clothing we choose is a subject that warrants frequent review and continuous emphasis.

Why? Because it communicates nonverbal messages to everyone who sees us, not just the friends, family, and colleagues we know, but the multitude of people we don't know...and still interact with.

To a certain extent, our clothing tells other how we feel about ourselves, what our values are, what our aspirations are, and what our boundaries are.

In Old Money Style, I compare our wardrobe choices--sometimes made as an afterthought--to the choices made by a costume designer for a feature film--always made with deliberate intent. In a feature film that is usually only 90 to 120 minutes in length, the costume designer must tell the audience who a character is in an instant: are they the down-to-earth hero with a modest background, dressed in a flannel shirt and jeans? Are they the gangster villain, dressed in a silk shirt and wearing a gold chain necklace? Are they the ambitious working girl, dressed in her 'professional best' blue suit?

The costume designer selects the clothes that visually communicate the background, occupation, values, and ambitions of each character that are shown to the audience--before the character ever speaks a word of dialogue.

And if you'll notice, when the wardrobe for a character changes, it tells the audience that something within that character has changed: their financial situation (for better or worse), their goals, their experiences, their desire to fit in or stand out, their need for respect, their quest for love.

Something is different, and that audience sees it. It changes the way they look at the character. It's that way in films, and in this sense, art often imitates life.

When we encounter a well-dressed person (not necessarily 'dressed up', but dressed with a little attention and care) we automatically think about them in a different way than we do a person who is wearing a ragged t-shirt, cargo shorts, and flip-flips.

This may not matter if we're waiting in line together to buy a cup of coffee, but it does matter if someone is applying for a job interview, talking with a banker about a loan, or going on a date with a potential partner.

We unconsciously make the assumption that the way someone is dressed reflects the value they assign to themselves and the importance they assign to the event for which they've dressed (or not dressed).

We also make assumptions about their socioeconomic status and their background. Let's not pretend that we're all fair and objective. We're human, and we judge.

While I don't advocate that we evaluate a person's value or worth as a human being based on their wardrobe, I do encourage us to accept how people are and act accordingly. Especially if we want to convey self-respect and signal to others that we require respect. Especially if we want to appear trustworthy. Especially if we want to get ahead.

For all of the above reasons--and more--I encourage people to stick with an Old Money Style wardrobe. While 'preppy' has been hijacked by retailers and the internet and coerced into something entirely different than what I knew four decades ago (good god, that sounds like a long time, now that I write it down), I'd suggest now that most people lean toward what's now called Ivy Style. It's one term that means the same thing today that it meant 60 years ago.

(Coming soon: a blog post spotlighting a great book about The Andover Shop, which will give you a clear picture of Ivy Style and its importance in American culture.)

Remember: I repeat things not because I don't recall writing them, but so you don't forget reading them.

Avoid fashion like the plague. Save your money. Invest in a few quality pieces that will last, garments that will mix and match with each other easily. First, buy what you will wear every day: dress shirts or blouses, wool slacks, practical shoes, wool sweaters, a blue blazer or tweed jacket. Seek out purveyors of quality traditional clothing, stuff that will look good and endure for years.

You'll give people the idea that you've spent more time thinking about your future than your wardrobe. You'll give them the idea that you're smart with your money. You'll give them the idea that you would rather garner recognition from your accomplishments that grab attention with your outfits. Not really a downside to those assumptions, is there?

The Uniform: blazer, slacks, shirt, tie. All good.

Confession: living in Paris for several years and now cloistered in the French countryside, I am a little out of touch as to which vendors in the US and UK currently sell quality, value-priced goods that fit the bill. Of course, Mercer and Sons shirts, J Press, J Crew, Lands End, and some of Ralph Lauren's offerings are still on my radar as good investments that come in a variety of price points. Outdoor and Country in the UK handle a range of all weather gear and accessories.

Still, I would welcome more up-to-date, boots-on-the-ground comments from the tribe. Who is selling good khakis these days? What about winter coats? Any new suppliers on the scene that we should know about?

Looking forward to your comments.