Because I was going to write this even if we lost the final.
After losing my spot in the Manning Premier League team to begin February, it's fair to say I was disappointed, I was down on myself, I was a couple of other negative adjectives, feeling that all the hours and days I'd been putting into my bowls had led to nothing but a giant backward step, especially after surviving 2/3rds of the season in the top team, which was 2/3rds longer than I'd originally expected...
Although, the one trade off was getting the drinks vouchers in Division 1 White the week I got dropped, and at bloody Kardinya of all places.
So looking to find a response, the next club event on the calendar was the Men's Pairs, traditionally the second-most important event at any bowling club (Behind the Singles titles for Women and Men) and I was down for one more crack at it with our men's captain Neil Edwards, and if you don't know, myself and Neil have a rather funny relationship...
In my maiden club event (The 2021 2-Bowl Singles) I played Neil in the opening game of our section, it hailed halfway through the game, and after an hour's delay I came back and won on debut (Keith Godfrey knocked us both out), a year later he got onto me for a dual deal to play in the Club Triples (with Mark Ellis) and Pairs, and we had a great run to the Triples final in November (Which we lost, badly), then the Pairs last February was wrecked by the fact that Neil got a call from the funeral director and we had to end the last match of our section early... Although, Greg Hogg and Ian White were already 20-5 ahead, because I had no idea how to play as a skip.
Some would argue that's still the case.
Fast forward a year, it was a straight knockout and the first 2 games would be on a boiling hot Sunday (February 18) where it was forecast to top 43 degrees Celsius, so much so we had to move the first games to start at 8:30 sharp Sunday morning, and in the Round of 16 we were drawn against Mukinbudin native Graeme Watson, who had to bowl barefoot due to a toe injury, and the man who is definitely not a Spaniard, Rick Pares.
Hilariously, at Manning we have a Richard Pears and a Rick Pares... just thought I'd mention that.
As for our gameplan that never existed... Do you ever remember the old slogan of Don Chipp and the Australian Democrats?
KEEP THE BASTARDS HONEST.
That was it - Either one of us had to get bowls in the head and keep the bastards honest.
In a game featuring plenty of damn good draw bowls from all 4 players, myself and Neil led a tight 6-5 after 10 ends, but produced a bad 11th end (A crap drive from yours truly didn't help) and dropped 4 shots to fall behind 6-9 with 4 ends to play, but got the mat back on the next end and pulled the 4 shots back to lead 10-9 with 2 to play, but Watto converted one of Rick's bowls in to shot to make it 10-10 with a winner-take-all final end to come...
But, we had the advantage of last shot, and on the first crossover we were in a bit of trouble as Neil was short, but thankfully I got us out of the stink by plonking 2 bowls within a foot, Neil added a third, and the game would come down to Watto's last drive, which smacked into one of his front bowls, sent that bowl hurtling into the head like an inswinging yorker, and missed the shot bowl by a Maxwell Smart... THAT MUCH.
The scene on the last end
Long story short, we won 13-10 after surviving a real challenge, and after that win the pair of us caught fire, which would've been easy to do given how horrifically hot it was.
Up next in the Quarter Finals we played Paul Smith (Who I'd played with at Cockburn the day before in 1 White) and Andy Lill, who had disposed of Wayne Heldt and Mark Ellis (2/3 of this season's club triples winning team) in a barn burning match next door to us, and while thinking about how on earth we could improve and potentially win against tough opposition, plus avoid dying of heatstroke, I couldn't help but laugh at the fact that I was the only bloke on the rink who wasn't born in England, because Neil and Andy are ridgy didge Englishman, and Paul was a Ten Pound Pom in the early 1960s before he settled in to Mukinbudin.
Early on, the signs were good when Neil (A 2nd Division lead) matched motors with Andy (A starting Premier League second) and we led 5-0 after 3 ends, but we proceeded to drop 5 shots in 2 ends to level the scores, but crucially we never trailed at any stage, and kept steady to lead 11-9 after 11 ends as Paul was having to pull out a few Hail Mary bowls to stop us from getting away, one of which came when we were holding 3 before the last bowl on the 12th End, with which Paul somehow kicked the jack clean out to the right to get 1.
Then, with the game on the line, we proceeded to flash fry Paul and Andy in the heat by picking up a pair of 3s to lead 17-9, forcing them to play the final end despite them having no realistic chance of winning (8 bowls per team), and that final end resulted in Smithy trying to smash the jack out the back to get a consolation 4 or 5, only to go from 1 up to 2 down by knocking out the shot bowl, such was the desperation stakes Smithy found himself in for most of the game.
The events of the last end, before Smithy cleaned himself out
A 19-9 win, and we got off the green right as it hit 40 degrees Celsius, and spent the rest of the afternoon drinking under the air conditioning.
With that win, we went on to the Semi Final (18 ends instead of 15) the next Friday night at 6pm sharp against the defending champion pair of Nathan Jones, the Australian Softball Hall of Famer (Known at Manning as The HOF), and former East Fremantle stalwart Joe 'Geoffrey' 'DOC' Angel, who had cleaned out their Quarter Final opponents (Terry Norrish & Mat Hoskin) 22-7...
We won't mention what DOC stands for, but it involves a hearing aid.
In completely different conditions to Sunday (Balmy, humid and under lights), and despite the apparent mismatch against two Premier League players (Ignoring where I've played this season), we got ourselves ahead 9-0 after only 5 ends thanks to Neil upholding the Don Chipp strategy and keeping Joe more than honest, while Nathan struggled in the fading light without his glasses, but once he did get them from his wife, the defending champs got on the board, got the mat and cut the score back to 9-6 after 9 ends, then we responded once again and held 3, 2 and 2 to lead 16-6 after 12 ends, and I felt the slightest bit of confidence we might actually win.
You could tell the dew was up because there's only one bowl past the head
We then dropped three ends in a row, but once again, the Don Chipp strategy held up and made sure they were all 1s, so the Score would sit at 16-9 after 15 ends, and then came the 16th end, in which we pretty much made certain of the result.
Setting a long end, Joe had trailed the jack and plonked 2 on, Nathan then added a third shot, but somehow I played the wide hand, got through a gap and drew shot with a back toucher, forcing Nathan to go for a drive, which got the bowl but put the jack into the ditch, and they could only hold another 1.
So instead of being a tight 16-12 or 16-13, it was a reasonably comfortable 16-10 with 2 ends to play, and we picked up 2 on the 17th to lead 18-10 and force Joe and Nathan to play the last end, and on the original final end Joe managed to kill it with a lovely backhand drive, but after that our opponents accepted the reality of the situation and played it out without going for the miracle 8, eventually holding 1 thanks to a resting toucher from Joe to make the final score 18-11.
It was pointed out by Nathan to yours truly that the end count in our game was 9 apiece, but the difference was that 8 of Nathan & Joe's holds were 1 shot, whereas we got 6 multiples, which is how you win games.
There you have it, after staring down the barrel on Sunday morning, we were through to the Pairs Final to take on Steve Lambert and Craig Stevens, who toweled up Mike Carey and Maurice Barnes 18-9 in the other Semi Final that night, and themselves were former Pairs finalists in 2017, when they lost narrowly to Keith Godfrey and Mark Matthews.
Of course, at this point I haven't mentioned the fact that I went back up into Premier League that weekend because 3 blokes were out (David Downey, Blake Butler and Lewis Grigg), which also meant Nathan wound up playing as a Skip... his rink was 0-12 down after 5, still trailed 10-21 after 14 ends, then picked up 17 shots in 7 ends to win 27-21 and seal the aggregate.
I felt glad to see that, because my rink (with Cody Packer as skip) went from being 11-3 up to losing 13-25, so you'll expect to see dropped back to Division 1 White on Saturday.
So as the week went on and the chance to atone for that lost Triples Final came closer, the first day of March came around a day later than usual, and the four gents in the Final were so eager that we started the roll-up 15 minutes early (5:45), and keeping up this theme of completely different conditions, this time the final would be played in a howling Easterly with gusts passing 40 km/h, although on the green it felt more like a category 5 cyclone.
As for the game, it was pretty much the same as our previous 3 games - We just kept getting enough bowls in the head to keep the pressure on Craig and Steve, and we went on to lead 11-0 after 8 ends, and in those first 8 ends, Neil was so good I felt like I only crossed over down shot once...
Which was quite handy, because I don't think I played as well as I did in the Semi Final.
Some of the early action
It also felt like one of those nights where everything we did just seemed to go right, and everything Craig or Steve did went wrong - They'd play the right shot and miss the weight by a foot, they'd get the right weight and we'd have a short bowl right in the line that one of them would whack in to count, Steve trailed the jack at least once, only for one of Neil's overcooked back bowls to turn into shot, one time Steve and Craig were holding 3, only for Neil to swing in on the wide hand, find a gap no more than two bowls wide and trail the jack away from them, another time I played an upshot on the wide hand, got a massive wick off a short bowl and cannoned into the holder to go from 1 down to 1 up...
It was all of that, or the howling Easterly would just continue to hold their bowls (Aero Dynamics) out wide, which didn't seem to be an issue for us, because myself and Neil use Henselite Dreamlines, which could take grass in a wind tunnel.
Still, as a wise man once said, there's no such thing as luck.
Eventually, Steve and Craig got on the board on the 9th End when Steve kicked the jack to the edge of the left hand boundary line, and Craig played 3 superb draw bowls to hold 3 and make the score 11-3, but that would be the only end we gave away during the first 15 ends, as we delivered what felt like death by a thousand cuts and pushed the score out to 19-3 after 15, meaning we could potentially end the game 2 ends early by holding 1 on the 16th End (The lead would be 17 with 16 shots available) which wasn't beyond the realms of possibility with how the night was going...
However, Craig and Steve set up their best end of the night as we crossed over 2 down with Craig planting a resting toucher and Steve having second shot after I whacked him in, but my last bowl snuck in for second shot on the narrow hand a bowl's width away from shot, only for Craig to sit the bowl out clean, flop onto the jack, push it to the right and make it 4 shots.
Out of all the bowls played on the night, that was the best one.
This was Craig's third bowl, just before he fired down that pearler
So with the score still 19-7 with two ends to play, both pairs seemingly accepted the reality of the situation and played out the 17th End like any other end, and myself + Neil ensured we were never going to drop 4 or 5 and prolong the wait for victory, and that final end would've gone down to a measure (Which we would've won), but seeing as it made no difference to the result, we gave Craig & Steve the shot and made the final score 19-8, which it shall remain in the history books....
Which will also show that in 2024, a converted Jack Attack bowler and one of the few pre-2008 Manchester City supporters in Australia, won the Men's Pairs title at Manning Memorial Bowling Club.
Yes, I wish this had been some tale of an epic comeback from the dead to win the Final (Although the first game was a comeback win) because it'd sound cooler, but our last 3 games were akin to the Normans sailing across the English Channel, getting to Hastings and wiping out the Saxons to hand William the Conqueror the English throne.
What I also found amazing, which I didn't realise until Craig told me after the game, was that our biggest hold of the Final was 2 shots, but it was the 19-3 lead that made it feel like we'd had some huge end somewhere... it really was death by a thousand cuts.
Good thing we didn't drop many more 3s or 4s.
I probably should've taken a better photo of the draw, but this was the final results.
So, now for the post-script:
After 3 years and 15 attempts (Which actually isn't that long in the grand scheme of bowls), at times leaving me wondering if I'd ever be good enough, I have achieved a goal and cracked the honour board at Manning for the first time, and it's the damn Men's Pairs as a skip, which also makes myself and Neil eligible to play in every Masters event except the Masters Singles (To state the obvious you need to win a club singles title or better to qualify), and it might just make me the first glorified Manning Jack Attack bowler to win a club event at Manning as a skip...
Fun fact - Steve Withers (2014-15) trained the great greyhound Tommy Shelby
It was also quite nice to see a heap of Jack Attack bowlers sitting in the peanut gallery behind us, among them Todd, Jonesy & Bruce from the Great Bowls of Fire/Bowled Guys, and a couple of the CDs, especially Helen Lamb, who herself won the Ladies' Pairs this season (And the last), and was seemingly happier than I was about winning the title...
But that was probably the white wine talking.
What I also didn't mention was that Neil had previously made the Pairs Final with Steve Salamon in 2020, in which they got whacked by Lee 'Lord' Such and Alan Booth, and he'd lost the aforementioned Triples final with me last season, and prior to this year his only club title was the 2017 Novice Singles, but this year he's now gone on to win the Fours and Pairs, putting him in the lead of the Bowler of the Year race, pending the results of the Men's Singles, in which Paul Smith has to make the Semi Finals to surpass Neil...
Ironically, Smithy is playing Craig Stevens in the Quarter Final on Sunday.
As for what would be the theme of this story.....
Play your bowls like Don Chipp's approach to politics - Keep the bastards honest.
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