Information
Goodreads: Supercommunicators
Series: None
Age Category: Adult
Source: Library
Published: 2024
Summary
Why do some people just seem better at communicating than others? Charles Duhigg examines several case studies to determine how some individuals are able to connect with others, create consensus, and persuade people to join them in a way that seems magical, but it is actually replicable by anyone.
Review
Everyone knows how to communicate, right? Make eye contact, tilt your head, and maybe make some affirmative noises now and then to indicate that you are listening. This is the standard advice, Charles Duhigg acknowledges. But, in practice, having meaningful conversations that unite us rather than divide is much more difficult than that. Duhigg focuses his research on effective communication around several case studies that each prove intriguing in their own way and, along the way, provides some actionable advise for anyone seeking to improve their own communication skills.
Frequently, cases studies in a work like this may seem beside the point. A recurring complaint of mine when reading nonfiction is that the author too often has one idea that they keep repeating, but they bulk up the idea from article length to book length by sharing a bunch of illustrative examples; one could grasp the argument in its entirety just by reading the introduction, but is somehow mislead into reading the whole book. Duhigg refreshingly does not do this. Rather, each case study is interesting on its one merits, and ties into a sub-point Duhigg wants to make about the nature of communication.
Indeed, the case studies here prove just an intriguing as the ideas on communication, and they tend to read with all the suspense and drama of fiction. I found myself engrossed by the stories: the juror who deftly leads a divided jury to agreement, the surgeon who can't figure out why his patients never take his advice, the doctor working against vaccine hesitancy, and the operative who nearly fails to recruit a foreign agent. Each case study had its own high stakes, meaning readers will want to keep reading to figure out what magic communication could possibly lead to resolution.
Duhigg's ideas are perhaps deceptively simple. The key idea is to determine, first, which type of conversation one is engaged in. He separates conversations into three categories: What's this really about? How do we feel? and Who are we? Only after recognizing what type of conversation the other person wants to have can we connect. Anyone who has responded to an emotional ("How do we feel?") conversation with practical advice will be able to relate.
However, navigating conversations in real life is often more complicated than this, so Duhigg breaks down different techniques that people can use to achieve more meaningful communication. In a time when it seems people are increasingly divided and the political sphere increasingly polarized, finding ways to communicate respectfully with others feels more important than ever. And, in one case study, Duhigg demonstrates that people on both sides of a divisive political issue were indeed able to converse with each other by using some of the techniques described. The secret in a way was just to be polite and to learn to see people as human, rather than "the enemy." But, it is also important not to see the end goal of a conversation as "winning," but to really listen for understanding. (Duhigg also has tips for online/text communication, for those wondering why discourse on the internet so often feels hopeless.)
Anyone who wants to be a better communicator should pick up this book. It is written in a lively, accessible way that makes communicating seem easy. No doubt many will come away eager to try their new skills and help create a more civil discourse.
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